Brits in NYC + A Big Ol' TikTok Ban + Enron? In 2024? + Jersey Drones + Dominique Brown + Luigi Mangione: White Boy Of The Year? + Joe Biden's Pardon + A Logical Dorit? + Stay Outta Cullman
There’s a group of Brits on TikTok who are in New York City and going absolutely feral for all the things we gluttonous American superconsumers have been taking for granted. TJ Maxx, Juicy Couture, Raising Canes, Panda Express, Chic-Fil-A and all the formerly beloved things my dopamine receptors are too fried to actually enjoy these days. They’re like martians. It’s like seeing your baby walk for the first time.
If I could be this happy again.
Anyway, the TikTok ban is looming. Or, maybe not. Maybe the Supreme Court will step in. Or, maybe not. I’m holding space (pretending it’s not happening).
Enron Is Back? Is this real? Is this performance art? (AP)
Israeli Realtor Twins Indicted On Sex Trafficking Charges (AP)
Doctors Are Giving Black Mothers Unnecessary C-Sections (PBS)
A Second Search Is Underway For Missing Dancer Zelig Williams (WACH)
Support REI Workers On Strike (Modern Retail)
Billie Eillish Fans Get The Real L.A. Treatment (culturework)
Gwen Stefani Shills For Serial Hatecrimer Mark Wahlberg’s Prayer App (OurSundayVisitor)
If You Think Bret Stephen’s Op-Ed About United Healthcare Is Insane…(NYT)
…Wait Til You Read This One About Walmart’s DEI Ban…(USA Today)
Tornadoes? In San Francisco? (TWC)
Drones? Over New Jersey? (Forbes)
Content creator Dominique Brown died December 5th while attending an influencer event hosted by BoxLunch. Brown reportedly alerted the company to her specific peanut allergy prior and was assured that menu items were safe. During the Disney-themed event in Los Angeles, Brown suffered an allergic reaction and passed away. BoxLunch, a merch company owned by HotTopic, took two days to address the death, and nearly a week to provide a barely sufficient statement. Brown was 34.
Hmmm, have you heard anything about this book this week? Hardcovers are officially out of stock, and the Kindle version is a bestseller. If you don’t trust digitized media (and why should you, really), you can try you luck on eBay, where a physical version sold for over $1,100. The starting bid was $50.
Make sure to avoid the fakes!
“Bestie, they’re gonna put you on Fox News.” — The Internet
I had just about given up on love when a 6’1” Ivy League scholar, former high school valedictorian, PhD-carrying tech bro who sidequests as a surfer, rock climbing instructor, and generally amazing friend who no one who’s ever met him can say a single bad thing about. More shockingly, it’s been a week and not one racist tweet tied to his name has washed up on the internet’s shores.
There are cutesy fancams set to Lana Del Rey, absolutely terrifying AI edits, and endless hours of mainstream media trying to paint the alleged killer (whoever that may be) as a monster with a motive, trying to extinguish our lust for Luigi by reminding us that our moral compass should instead point its sympathy at a dead executive of a sinister business. The same media that sometimes celebrated, but mostly ignored, the thousands of children, journalists, and doctors being bombed incessantly for over a year. The very anchors that reasoned with us to ice our emotions and think logically about why the “complicated issue” causing their deaths had a right to happen.
The questions that hover…
Should we feel bad for Brian Thompson? Sure, he had kids, and sure all lives matter, but he was no choir boy! He was arrested for DUI in 2017!