Happy New Year, Say It Back

Thursday Thoughts

There used to be a saying that it only took twenty-one days for most people to create a habit, which may still be true, but, for people like me, twenty-one days just isn’t enough time. It doesn’t include the five days it takes for us to actually find time to make our list of new goals or the week to finally edit that list down to the Top 5 Most Doable. Then, there’s the trial week we need to see if we could actually do them, and also the additional two weeks we need to prove to ourselves that we could do them consistently. It takes at least four weeks before we can even start checking in on progress. There’s also the week where you need to temporarily step off the track — a vacation, a death in the family, your period won’t let you get out of bed — plus the few days needed afterward to wallow in depressed failure and the couple more needed after that to convince ourselves that we’re worth the reset and restart.

So, for me, my goal setting starts in October. I’ve always felt like procrastination is my ancestral right, as is the right to be able to ease into every situation without the pressures of urgency. My ancestors deserved to be still, to contemplate, and to move when they felt ready. I’m not joking when I tell you my couch time and leisure time is a full dedication to them. Stillness is my privilege, as is agency, which is why I don’t take the option to be self-determined for granted.

If you’re trying to make sense of why October actually works, here are a few thoughts:

First things first, January is unremarkable.

The calendar year is a “babylon ting.” The real first day of the year is the Spring Equinox, and the first real, real day of your year is your birthday. Unlike Fall, where the shorter days and temperature drop draw a very clear line between its self and Summer, January’s spot in the middle of a season means it brings no real noticeable change. She’s manufactured to feel urgent. We have the impending doom of returning back to work (for corporate girlies), or getting kids back to school, or the chaos of packed gyms or having to navigate your goals while everyone else in the world is sucking up energy for their own. In a stagnant and shiftless month like January, there just isn’t enough energy to go around.

Not us. Not this year.

April is too late.

I don’t like the idea of having to wait until the year is halfway over to finally see results. We should be starting our years with the life, body, bank account, career, relationship, or mindset we want. We should enter the year already existing as the new-and-improved version of ourselves, even if the work is still very much in progress.

April is also my birthday month. I used to tether my New Year’s resolutions to it as some sort of proof milestone and let any resolution that failed determine how happy or miserable my birthday would be. New job? Everything is amazing. Situationship failed before I could get that birthday baecation I was secretly manifesting? Kill me.

Lastly, and most importantly, failure feels better.

If you start in October and fail in December, no one will know that your January resolutions are actually a second attempt.

---

You *might* see some progress updates here over the next few weeks, including some new project launches, but if and only if I can manage to somehow stay on track.

In the mean time, here are some things I’m doing, reading, watching, and listening to at the moment to free up brainspace and keep my news-politics-chaotic-world-stress-doom emotions at bay.

Reading: How To Marry Keanu Reeves In 90 Days

Fun fact, I actually met Keanu Reeves once and I absolutely wanted to marry him. He runs a publishing/press company called X Artist Books with his now-girlfriend Alexandra Grant (who may have secretly been his girlfriend then?). There was a small panel/book release party at Neuehouse a few years ago and I remember walking up to the building to check in and he’s just standing out front of it alone, on Sunset Boulevard, on the empty sidewalk, inches from rush hour traffic. He is so Keanu Reeves it was almost like someone just propped up a cardboard cutout of him. No phone out. No sunglasses hiding his face. Just🧍🏻‍♂️.

Anyway, after the event he graciously stayed and mingled with everyone and was so nice and normal. He gets the most the credit and attention, but Alexandra ran that show.

Author Kwana M. Jackson has been a longtime friend over on the clockapp and kindly sent me a few of her books! Who knew that life reading lighthearted rom-coms is just so much more peaceful. For contrast, I was dragging City of Quartz on flights last year and screaming to strangers about the L.A. aqueduct and city planning. Shop her books here.

Scenes from this week’s Ojai vlog. WATCH

---

Listening: Sloppy Seconds (Listen on Spotify Podcasts)

I’ve actually been listening to this podcast on and off for a few years, but I’ve let too many episodes stack up in the queue to ignore. Listen, I know I’m not the target audience although I did love an Eagle and/or Akbar moment back when I had friends and stayed out late. The podcast is co-hosted by Big Dipper and Meatball, the latter who you’ll know from his iconic George Santos drag run and Wicked obsession.

---

Watching: Encounters (Watch on Netflix)

Just a lil four-part series about global UFO sightings, which is honestly only spooky if you watch it in the dark. It says a lot about the state of *this* planet that a doc about very real sightings of very real aliens is filed under my “soothing content” category. There’s something soothing about us being so stupid and so doomed here on our tiny little human rock, and knowing atleast someone out there’s got something figured out.

@txmxxrNY was not on they zoom!! #cuffit #renaissance

Tiktok failed to load.

Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser

Yes, I watched Beckham, and yes I’ll talk about it in another post, eventually.

---

If you like anything I do, please consider upgrading to a paid subscription.