Uncuff It Challenge ft. Everybody
Thursday Thoughts.
At this point, staying still is a privilege.
(Note: I’ve linked all non-paywall sites/articles throughout below so you can explore without the headache)
As an Aries, and perma-single girl (by choice), nothing soothes me to sleep more than watching everyone’s relationships crumble the second summer comes into view. Lurking Instagram to find out who’s been secretly deleting their ex off the feed is one of the last few joys I have left.
But what the hell is going on this week. Errbody breaking up with something?
Let’s start with Monday.
Both Don Lemon and T*cker Carlson were dumped.
In true breakup fashion, Tucker was dumped because his boo Rupert caught some messy texts.
I’d like to remember Tucker by this video:
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Those who know me in real life know I’m hoping with Don gone, my cinnamon apple Jim Acosta can continue his CNN climb, and return the channel’s news reporting, especially these during times of actual constant daily devastating doom, to something that doesn’t include anchors jumping out of a cake. Honestly I don’t want to see a single person smiling! On any news station! Not in this economy!
To me, Don and Tucker are each terrible in their own ways, and, despite each being nearly 60 years old, both weirdly look like little plastic boy dolls. Whatever happens in their retirements, I’m not rooting for either of them as much as I was rooting for TJ and Amy. [1:24 timestamp]
Then the media industry broke up with more of their employees.
Buzzfeed News was shut down altogether. Their union, which formed in 2019 after years of attempts, intimidation, layoffs, and busting, did successfully negotiate layoff provisions in 2021. We’ll see what ends up honored.
Complex, my ol’ alma mater, which was purchased by Buzzfeed in 2017, laid off more people this week as well.
Hundreds at ESPN, including high salary execs, were chopped this week as part of Disney’s ongoing slim down.
Meta, after breaking up with 11,000 employees over the last 6 months, is now breaking up with Red Table Talk and cancelling the show.
And, lastly, as literally as I type this, Paper Magazine just announced it had laid everyone off too. Everyone.
I can’t believe I’ve lived long enough to watch the publishing industry die three times. TikTok really is all we have left.
Then Meghan curved Harry. Finally.
That’s what the Lakers Kiss Cam was saying anyway.
If I could just have a moment to be #parasocial, I’d really love to see her move onto someone who doesn’t have decades of being a racist weighing her greatness down.
Then the Tr*mp kids broke up.
Ivanka’s decided to ditch her brothers and get her own lawyer for her part in allegedly running a family fraud scheme. This is unrelated to her raking in almost half a billion dollars while ‘employed’ at the White House.
Meanwhile in Florida...
Dwayne Wade broke up with the whole state for good reason.
Disney vs. DeSantis is going from separation to very contentious divorce.
And then in Pennsylvania…
Bam Margera disappeared into thin air.
And, finally, as if allllllllll that wasn’t enough, Jerry Springer, the man responsible for hundreds of messy breakups (and for making them so entertaining) just up and left us. He passed away today after a brief battle with pancreatic cancer.
Mourn him by watching this Breakups and Beatdowns moment with me.
His work here is done. 🕊️
Thats it. That’s all. Right? Did I miss anything?